For some people, conceiving can be very stressful. And when you constantly get bombarded with Facebook and Instagram posts from your pregnant friends and mothers with young kids, this time can be not only anxiety-inducing but simply overwhelming. Plus, you will constantly run into people telling you how bad stress is for the baby which will cause you to stress even more. If you notice you’re barely holding yourself together, it’s really time to come up with some good coping techniques that will help you relieve stress and boost your chances of conceiving.
Here’s one tricky thing about anxiety: it’s very resilient and stubborn and when you try to push it away, it will fight back. Anxiety is not all ways bad. It’s very useful in keeping us safe and reminding us that what we do and think about is important. While we can alleviate some of the negative feelings with positive thinking, meditation and distractions, it’s very hard to completely shut off anxiety. That’s why simply acknowledging your feelings can make things easier and ease your battle with anxious feelings.
Anxiety often pushes people to engage in compulsive behaviors like reading everything you can find on a certain subject or constantly Googling symptoms, tips and tricks. If you’re trying to conceive, you probably already looked up much information online and are constantly checking blogs and Facebook groups dedicated to conceiving. Sometimes you will find info that’s useful, but most of the time, it will just make you worry even more.
If your need to read info online is starting to be compulsive, it can add to your anxiety. So, what you can do is find a sweet spot. If you notice that your online research makes you anxious, stop and seek ways to distract yourself. If you’re feeling okay with it or if it provides safety and comfort, you can continue your social media and blog research.
Fertility issues are not something many people are willing to discuss, even though a large number of couples experience problems on this front. Well, everything is easier to cope with when you have someone on your side that went through the same things. There are apps that offer great support while trying to conceive and allow you to share your story with other women in a similar situation. When you see that you’re not alone, you will feel much better.
Many people feel ashamed when talking about their issues or are too scared to seek help. Be sure that any shame you’re feeling is definitely not warranted—make sure to be kind to yourself and your partner. You would be amazed to know just how many people need assistance when conceiving, they just don’t want to talk about it. Not being able to get pregnant on your first try will not make you any less of a woman or a man.
While many people with anxiety do everything they can to monitor things carefully, some people go into avoidance mode. If focusing on your problem gives you too much anxiety, you might be tempted to ignore it and just ‘wing it’. But you definitely shouldn’t avoid your doctor’s appointments, monitoring cervical mucus and keeping track of your cycle. All of these things can help you with conception.
When dealing with anxiety, distraction can work quite well. Some forms of distraction like doing fun activities that will get you out of the house and your usual environment can be very helpful. What you can do is plan a weekend away from home, taking up a fun hobby or doing something other that makes you happy. Don’t let trying to conceive be the only important thing in your life—you need other things that will make you feel excited and happy.
Do you often go to bed and Google ‘infertility’? Or do you stare at the ceiling unable to sleep while analyzing your lifestyle and all the reasons why you might be struggling with conception? It’s very important to get plenty of sleep during your time of trying, so do everything you can to catch some shut-eye. You can take a hot shower before bed, play some soft music or play an audiobook or a podcast (no crime though). These actions will relax you and literally put you to sleep so you can be fresh and re-energized in the morning.
If you continue to experience anxiety issues and you can’t cope anymore, make sure to contact a therapist who will be able to offer more professional help and better support.